allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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