Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
