I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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