Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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