Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize