Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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