If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
