i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
