We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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