I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
