i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
