Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
