i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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