This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
