I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
