so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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