I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
