garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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