pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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