Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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