i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
