i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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