He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
