jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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