we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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