I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
