Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Randomize
