fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
