A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
