I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize