i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
