If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
