That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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