I want to have your abortion
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
