My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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