Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You pole danced in your parka.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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