I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we're making bets on your personal life
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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