awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
