My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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