someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
