the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
