Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize