i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This baby is an asshole
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
