just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
