Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
that is very illegal...i love you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
