i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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