Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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