Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
