I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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