There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
