Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
