is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
