Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
