He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
