White coat. Heels.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
