He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
