Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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