GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
