just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
