i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize