no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
