Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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