that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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