That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Alive.
So much puke
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
